tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-14015790929174974092024-03-13T20:48:56.906-07:00Clayton and Jamee Leejameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.comBlogger47125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-57310268000671570222018-05-11T22:49:00.001-07:002018-06-07T20:27:09.612-07:00Thoughts As I'm Doing the Dishes...Tonight...I was doing the dishes. As I was doing the dishes, I thought about my life. I thought about the people who come over to my house and how so often...well, every single time, there are dirty dishes. I apologize for the dishes and the mess that is my house every time. Every. Single. Time. Then I thought about how I don't care...because I refuse to be the mom who, after working in an office the whole day, comes home and cleans. As I was doing the dishes tonight, I realized that my son was cuddling with our cat on my bed while watching Octonauts and I wasn't in there! I wasn't with him! So, as usual, I stopped doing the dishes and spent time with him. He would go to bed soon and I wouldn't get to spend that time with him anymore. My time is limited. My time with my children is SO limited each week...I can't be that kind of parent who cleans when I could love on them. SO....my house is dirty. That is my house...and now that explains why it's the way it is. So...in case you come over anytime soon, don't wonder. Now you know.<br />
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Then, I started thinking about my husband. I do this often, especially when he's gone. He and I have a weird relationship sometimes. We are SO different...polar opposites in some things that would make things so much easier if we were more similar in those areas...it makes me laugh. But, isn't that life?! Being LDS/Mormon, we really didn't date long or get to know each other very well until after we were married. Getting engaged a month after you meet and then married 4 months later doesn't give anyone much time to get to know someone on a deeper level, really. Anyway, as I was doing dishes, I thought...for the millionth time since I've married Clayton...what was I thinking?! WAS I thinking??...before I married a guy who was in the military and wanted to be a cop...was I thinking, at all?! I had NO idea what it meant. I didn't know how often we would have to go without talking...a couple weeks here and a couple weeks there. We are in another of those times right now. No talking until the 19th...yeah ok. That's fun. What was I thinking?!<br />
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Then hindsight kicked in. I got one of those "glimpses" tonight as to why I have gone through some of the things I have in this life. It was very clear to me tonight...why a lot of the things have happened in my life have happened. The very first thing that came to my mind was my age. I was 32 when I married Clayton...he was 26. I had dated a LOT, had my heart broken many times, had a couple failed engagements. I'd been put through the ringer with relationships a little. Nothing abusive, but LOTS of heartbreak. I had also been raised by an independent, single, mother. I understood tonight why. The whys all came together and told me...with Heavenly Father's inspiration...I had to go through those things, and it took time...so I was older when I got married. I had to be wise. I had to go through very difficult, trying times...heartbreak...depression...financial burden...etc...to be ready for marriage with my sweet Clayton. I have learned determination, perseverance, understanding, acceptance/etc. through my challenges. But the MAIN thing that I have learned, through all of my life experiences, is to find happiness in my current situation, no matter what it is! I refuse to be negative, beat down, depressed/etc. over my current life situation, no matter what it is - I'm not perfect at this, but I've had lots of practice and it's a constant work in progress! I have such a strong desire to not be negative that mentally making myself go through a checklist of blessings in my life every so often helps me be happy!<br />
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It's amazing how Heavenly Father teaches us!! His blessings are so abundant...no matter our life circumstances. It's our choice to SEE those blessings. It's not been an easy time with Clayton gone since the beginning of this month. My kids have both been sick...back-to-back...but it's taught me that I can handle it on my own without dying! (Haha! But seriously...) Having sick kids has made time go a little faster. A blessing of him being gone is that I get to look forward to seeing my husband again...I always love seeing him again for the first time after he's been gone. "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" isn't just a fun saying...it's so true! When he is gone, I'm caused to reflect on everything he does for me and our family (because I have to take over those duties when he's gone) and how lucky we are to have him. He's an amazing huband...he works 3 jobs usually without any days off for a long time...he insists on being involved with the kids when he is home and always desires to help with whatever I need. He sees things on such an equal plane...it's beautiful. I'm SO lucky. I'm SO blessed. I'm so glad that I was able to reflect on how my life has led me here, and how it's all worked out beautifully...exactly like it was meant to. I'm so glad that I was taught all of these things...as I was doing the dishes.<br />
<br />jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-75482036183766985642018-02-19T22:01:00.000-08:002018-02-20T05:10:55.016-08:00I'm Not That Kind of MomWhen I got married at 32 years old, I had had many years of dreaming about children and thinking about what kind of mom I hoped I would be. I had heard stories of the bonds that mothers had with their children and had long wished for those same bonds for myself with my own children. I had nannied for about 3 years to help teach myself how to be a good parent and as well as to get my child-fix to make sure I never married for children and not love. That worked, by the way. My baby-hungry feelings were calmed and I enjoyed every moment I spent with every amazing child that I had the opportunity to nanny and spend time with. <br />
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When the time came for me to actually get married and start a family of my own, let's just say I was more than a little ecstatic! Clayton and I started our family very quickly, getting pregnant within the first couple months of marriage. I endured a very sick pregnancy with my son with no small of amount of puking and poor food choices. I still gained 50 pounds and completely disliked being pregnant. <br />
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Not everyone talks about it, but I think one of the things that new moms do constantly when they are pregnant is imagine the first time they see their baby. What will it be like? How will it feel to see my own child for the first time? We have all heard the amazing stories of the "instant connection" and "overwhelming love" that most new moms seem to speak about. I was SO excited for this experience! I dreamed and daydreamed about it. I imagined what he would look like and who he might be like. I tried to imagine, but had a hard time guessing what this "new mom love" and "instant connection" might feel like.<br />
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The day came to deliver. My water broke that morning and we got the hospital about 1 hour later. I was having regular contractions and was ready to check in!<br />
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Soon after I saw him...my son! I saw him...and he was some baby that I had pushed out of me. I had never met him before. Clayton and my mom both cried. But I didn't feel anything new but sore and tired. Where was the connection that people had talked about?? I thought to myself that I just must have not gotten a good enough look at him, because they took him so quickly to measure/check over him. I waited until I got to hold him again. Well....time passed and I still didn't feel a connection. Jayton - my new son - was not great at nursing. In fact, nursing hurt worse than my natural childbirth a lot of the time. The only time I spent with my new child was either painful nursing or rocking him to sleep. There wasn't really a lot of interaction. Lots of family and friends came over or saw me at church/etc. I CONSTANTLY got the "How does it feel to be a mom?" question those first 3 weeks after he was born. I always answered very honestly - "I don't know. Ask me in a couple of months when I feel like one."<br />
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I didn't have an instant connection. I didn't feel like a mom to him. If anything, I felt like a cow who had to fulfill needs from a baby that she didn't even know. I had a breakdown to my sweet husband about it one night and he dealt with it amazingly. We had gone to a birthing class together and had both been warned about baby blues, so he was aware. I had a breakdown about how hard everything was and how I didn't even know if I loved my son. I felt like a horrible mother. Yet...I didn't even feel like a mother.<br />
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After some time passed, and I had gotten medication for an infection from breastfeeding, things changed. When Jayton was about 3 weeks old, I looked at him, and the feeling overwhelmed me. I was a mother, and he was my son! I looked at my baby and he finally felt like mine. It was an amazing feeling and one that I had waited for for so long. What an amazing feeling it was...to have a baby that was mine and that I felt such a strong love for.<br />
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The second time around with my daughter, it wasn't much different. Although she was an amazing breast feeder, I still just didn't feel that automatic love or connection. I thought that I definitely would because I understood what being a mother was this time around...but I just didn't. <br />
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But the difference with this time around is that I knew that feeling would come. It took longer with Kaylee than Jayton...about a month. But guess what? That's ok. I knew Jayton better than Kaylee and attributed it to that. For me...motherhood grows on me slowly. It's not automatic but it's a beautiful and surreal connection.<br />
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What an amazing gift motherhood is! It's never as we expect it to be, but isn't it a wonderful and crazy ride?! I'm so glad I get to experience it. <br />
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So much love to all of you, <br />
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Jamee<br />
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<br />jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-15942206333221896192016-09-01T22:04:00.002-07:002016-09-01T22:05:54.166-07:00A Story I Haven't Told Yet<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: sans-serif; font-size: 13.696px;">
<span style="font-size: 13.696px;">I have been waiting to share this intimate story until I felt the time was right. Well, the time may be right now, because I have been feeling the prompting that it is time to share.</span></div>
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I am one of those pretty typical moms who wanted to wait a couple years between having babies, so that my body could heal and my mind could wrap around the idea of being pregnant, again. My first pregnancy was very difficult – I was always sick, gained 50 pounds and swelled too big to wear my wedding ring by the 4<sup>th</sup> month. Afterward I got a horrible infection in one of my breasts that prevented breastfeeding on that side, and I didn’t bond with my son until he was probably around 3 weeks old. Before that point, I didn’t even know if I loved this creature who had come out of me…I didn’t know him and all he wanted was to use me as his feeder – his cow – the thing that kept him alive…but I was EXHAUSTED. Well, eventually, we bonded, and after 3 months I didn’t have to breastfeed anymore, as he was done with it, and that made me happy…I never liked it much, anyway.<u></u><u></u></div>
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Flash forward to 8 months later. We have a very happy baby boy who keeps us on our toes and is probably the most handsome little man I have ever seen. We are constantly getting compliments on his blue eyes and how very cute he is by strangers everywhere we go. We are so blessed.<u></u><u></u></div>
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I had been going through some kind of weird things at the time… - 1) I had been getting phantom kicks and 2) I had a dream that I was pregnant. It was all just very weird to me, especially because I never got the phantom kicks before that, not even right after having my son. I actually enjoyed having my body to myself, again. So, getting phantom kicks at 8 months post baby was SUPER odd…I found myself taking pregnancy tests to make sure that I wasn’t pregnant, it was so freaky.<u></u><u></u></div>
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Anyway, it was a quiet Saturday in our house. Jayton was taking a nap, Clayton was preparing a talk for church and I was doing the dishes. It was one of those peaceful moments that rarely happen in a household that has children.<u></u><u></u></div>
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Then…I can’t explain the feeling that I had come over me. I felt the spirit of a little girl. A girl who needed to be here now…who couldn’t wait anymore and whose brother needs her in this life to protect and nurture him. So, from that point, I knew she existed. I knew I needed to get pregnant again, and quickly. These two would need each other, but what I felt the most is that my son needs her. He needs a protector…and I don’t know why. I can’t see the future, but I can feel it. Jayton is sensitive, easily overwhelmed and loves to be around other children. He has a hard time without a playmate…so all of this made some sense to me.<u></u><u></u></div>
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And then, I cried. I cried because I miss my body. I cried because I still had 30 pounds to lose from my previous pregnancy. This wasn’t something that I wanted. I miss being in such good shape that I can do 25 push-ups at any time with no problem, or go on a 30 mile bike ride, easily. I had a plan…and it was being crushed.<u></u><u></u></div>
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But then, I also knew that if I didn’t follow this prompting that my babies would both suffer. This was one of those rare moments where I couldn’t deny the spirit and the obvious impressions I was receiving. Heavenly Father was testing me and shaping me into the mother I need to be. Seeing if I would follow a prompting.<u></u><u></u></div>
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We were pregnant within a month.<u></u><u></u></div>
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We found out it was a girl 20 weeks later. I wasn’t surprised. <span style="font-family: "wingdings";">J</span><u></u><u></u></div>
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I can’t explain to you the connection I already have with this daughter of God. Every time she moves…which is all day, lately…I am reminded of the strong spirit that she has and the strong woman that she is. I pray that I will be a good mother to her. But, most of all, I already know her. She is me. She is so similar to me and how I was growing up with my brothers - the protector, the nurturer, wanting everyone to be ok. But more than that, she will be MY daughter and she will be here soon. This pregnancy has been magical…and I know it’s so that I can already bond with her, before she even arrives. I can’t wait to meet this little angel who spoke to me from the other side...almost saying… “Mommy…I need to get here! Please bring me to your family, now! My little brother needs me. You need me. Don’t forget about me.” My sweet baby…I answered your call…and you will be here soon. We can’t wait to hold you, and love you with all of our hearts. Love, Mommy.</div>
jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-34746914753110164832015-05-19T01:19:00.000-07:002015-05-19T01:19:39.957-07:00Baby thoughts...We are having a baby!!!!!!!!! I can't wait....to not be pregnant anymore, that is. :) I just want to hold my little boy and tell him how cute he is and kiss his little face all of the time! I seriously can't wait to see what he looks like. I feel like that is what I have been craving the most...to see his cute face and study it...just stare at what my husband and I created. It is absolutely amazing the powers the human body has - to literally create another human! It is weird to know that I am holding a little human in my belly...feeling him move and anticipating meeting him - although he is LITERALLY a part of me.<br />
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Heavenly Father is such an amazing creator! He planned this all so perfectly so that we can keep life continuing on, hoping to teach these little people that we bring into the world all of the good things that we have learned in this life. And the crazy thing is that we have to hope we do a good enough job...whew...no pressure!<br />
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I am getting more excited since I went to my doctor's appointment today and it was the first appointment to check if I am dilating yet. I am 35 weeks and 4 days along. Well, she said that I am 1 cm dilated and 80% effaced! I am hoping this means that labor is just a few weeks away, but we will see what happens. It is just nice to know that my body is doing what it is supposed to, and a little more ahead of schedule than I thought it would.<br />
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This is all amazing, fun and scary...and I am SO happy it is MY turn to have children. I can't wait to be called Mommy :) And I know that Clayton absolutely cannot wait to be called Daddy. Almost every day now he says he just wants to hold our baby, and he just wants him here already! Yeah, me too. Give me regular, unswollen feet any day. My feet are like balloons and my fingers are too swollen to wear my wedding ring...and I miss wearing it!<br />
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Soon...doc said a couple of weeks...let's see how right she is ;)<br />
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Yay! :) <br />
<br />jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-62757925258169796602015-02-02T09:27:00.000-08:002015-02-02T09:28:28.448-08:00Baby Boy CartYes, you are reading right....we are having a boy!! Yay! We are both so excited. Also...I am the WORST at taking pictures/posting pictures. So, I don't have any right now, but let's just say that I have ultrasound pics hanging on our fridge that show the little "thing" in it's glory! Haha. We couldn't be happier for the little gift that awaits us in June :) <br />
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This ultrasound consisted of all of the measurements/etc that make sure the baby is safe and everything is on track. He weighs a whopping 13 ounces and all of his organs are functioning correctly. Yay for health. At this moment I can feel his mini kicks as I sit at my work desk. It is so wonderful to know he is alive and healthy in there. <br />
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We had some fun coming up with a name and for now have decided to combine our names into his - Jayton. We LOVE it! It is fun to call him baby Jayton and HE instead of "it" and "baby". <br />
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It is crazy to think how long I have waited to be a mother. I have spent a lot of time the last 2-3 years of my life watching other people's children just to fulfill the need of wanting my own children. It is amazing how much it helped, getting to know the sweet children that I had the opportunity to watch. With one family in particular, I had a definite hand in raising their 6 children and watching them grow. I have loved EVERY minute I have had to spend time with such wonderful children. <br />
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I have realized lately that the experiences I have had have taught me more than I could have ever hoped to learn as a mother. Although I know I will still learn new things and grow as a mother to my own children, I have an amazing amount of experience to bring into this new experience. I know that Heavenly Father led me on the path to nannying so that I could be fulfilled and more prepared as a mother. I can't wait to work with my sweet husband and teach our little children to believe in the gospel, learn about their Savior and understand how much they are loved. <br />
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I am so extremely blessed to have a husband like Clayton. He is a man who will never give up. He has persevered through very hard trials and come out a wonderful man in spite of it. He encouraged me, a woman 6 years older than him, that marriage was an important goal and I had lost sight of the importance of it in my life. He wanted to be the one to make me happy, and has made it a goal. Though no marriage is without its trials, I know that we can make it through anything together. <br />
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We are happy to keep all of you informed of our baby news! I will try to post pics as they are available (I should probably take some...) :) <br />
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We love all of you!!<br />
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Love<br />
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The Carts :) jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-29097853979968758142014-12-10T00:06:00.004-08:002014-12-10T00:20:17.066-08:00It's been awhile...I am so sorry I haven't written in awhile! A lot has happened...well...a few things have happened, and it is time I share them!<br />
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We moved out of my parent's house (yay!) - although we had tons of fun with them...it is nice to be on our own. We are currently house sitting until April of next year. We were blessed to have a couple in our ward ask us if we wanted to house sit for them wile they served a 6 month mission, and it was RIGHT ON TIME. We were starting to freak out a little about apartments/rent/etc. So, this is giving us a little more time to save up for a deposit/etc. <br />
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Also................................................................................................................I'm pregnant! Yay! It is...so much fun?? Honestly, not really. I have had a pretty hard sick and exhausted time of it, and I can't wait for this first trimester to be over so I can enjoy it a little bit. I am definitely grateful to finally be able to have my own baby. It is something that I have dreamed of for years, yet never fully allowed myself to believe it would happen in this life - that way I wouldn't be too disappointed if it didn't. Haha...I am such a funny girl - like my husband says ;-) <br />
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Anyway, I am exactly 12 weeks and 5 days pregnant...well...I am at work and it is almost 1 am so...12 weeks and 6 days. :) I am finally starting to show a little, but haven't taken a recent photo so I will have to do that so I can post it! I have had two dreams so far that we are having a boy and I had one dream before we found out I was pregnant that we were having a girl....so...who knows! I just care that the baby is whole and healthy. Sometimes I get scared because I still can't feel it move, although I know I won't be able to for awhile. It would just be such a refreshing and happy feeling to know that the baby is alive and happy and kicking (literally) in there. At our first ultrasound at 10 weeks it was moving so much! It made me so happy that it had two arms and two legs and a heart beat and a little brain we could see as well. Isn't it all such a miracle? <br />
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Anyway, I can't wait for the day I am not so exhausted all of the time, and that my brain works better...haha. It is hard to work as a dispatcher for 10 hours at a time and not forget to tell the officers things sometimes. It is annoying, but hey, it comes with the territory. For now I am just praying that I am one of those women who isn't sick her whole pregnancy and that it subsides a bit at 14 weeks - the beginning of my second trimester. But if it continues...I will continue on...and try to stay happy! <br />
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This 32 year old first time pregnant lady is tired...and sick...but growing a human :-) I can't wait to see what my baby looks like! More than anything right now...I can't wait to feel it move for the first time. There is always something to look forward to - even amongst the nausea and vomiting. <br />
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PS - I just have to tell you all what a WONDERFUL husband I have! He does housework, dishes, cooks for himself because I just can't stand the smell right now, never makes me feel bad for doing nothing around the house when I am exhausted, always tells me he loves me, loves my growing belly, thinks it's funny that I sleep so much and appreciates everything I do for him. I am SO blessed. I can't wait for our new addition and for the fun ride along the way, no matter how difficult it may be sometimes...it's still so cool!jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-59923760505812195932014-08-04T15:37:00.003-07:002014-08-04T15:37:52.454-07:00Blessings and struggles. So, marriage is good...it is fun to wake up to your best friend every morning...when you get that luxury :-)<br />
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Almost three weeks into our marriage Clayton left for annual military training for three weeks - that was no fun! Luckily I did get to see him by chance twice in that time, but it was hard being newly married. I thought about the struggles and sacrifices that others have had to make in the past. When the LDS church was being established, men who had wives and children would leave their families for years at a time to do missionary work and spread the gospel, often overseas. Now, husbands and wives work government jobs, in hospitals, or doing other various careers that take them away from their families for extended periods of time. No matter what, we survive. Although it was hard for me to be without my husband, there are always harder things out there that I have not had to deal with, and I'm grateful for the blessings that I have.<br />
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I am grateful for a husband who loves me.<br />
I am grateful for a roof over my head - even if it's currently my parent's house :-).<br />
I am grateful for the church and all I have learned from it.<br />
I am grateful for a healthy body.<br />
I am grateful for the gifts and talents that I have been given.<br />
I am grateful for friends and family who love me.<br />
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It's so easy to complain when things don't go our way, or see the negative when we wish they could just be different, and I have been doing a lot of complaining lately. But I have realized that although I want my husband to come home to me every night and I wish I didn't have a job where I have to work sometimes on Sundays, I will be grateful for what I have and stay strong and hold on for those things that will bless my life later on, whether they happen on this earth or when I pass from it - we have been told to endure to the end, not just endure until we are done trying. I have complained enough lately, and it's time for gratitude. I have so much, and I am so happy that I do.<br />
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<br />jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-42224002867464486132014-06-27T19:51:00.003-07:002014-06-27T19:52:27.927-07:00I am married...To this super handsome man!! Girls - I scored big. Not only is he 26 (winkwink - can anyone say younger and spunkier man?) - he is sweet and loving.<br />
Let me tell you though - never give up. If you put the other person first, then the love you need comes back to you.<br />
Also - be patient! Trust yourself, and in Heavenly Father's plan for you. Like Gordon B. Hinckley has said - "everything will work out."<br />
And gosh dang...look how well it worked out for both of us! Are we just so good-looking?! (Ok, it's called a professional photographer, but still :-)<br />
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Love to all of you! We will keep the big updates here - jobs/etc.....you know ;-)<br />
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Yay for temple marriage! There is nothing better :-)jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-42983215452387183282014-05-16T22:12:00.004-07:002014-05-16T22:13:35.106-07:00Love...I have love on my mind...duh!...I am getting married! HA. I also just realized that when I try to write a blog all perfect, like someone else is writing it, that it sounds like I am trying too hard...so...I guess writing like I am me, although I think I use too many ellipses...SEE...haha...is how I should write. The ellipses are how I think...I know...it's weird! LOL...anyway.<br />
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So...love. What the heck?! There are so many things I didn't know about love until I found it...and I am talking about the unconditional kind. <br />
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Thank you HOLLYWOOD for making everyone think that this is love...<br />
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<img class="rg_i" data-src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQMHDGujn9YpWRV8gcfaJZwOSe_lsZMUMKOaQcgd2AEIYqUvtBbZQ" data-sz="f" name="Jvioykfd-TEx3M:" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQMHDGujn9YpWRV8gcfaJZwOSe_lsZMUMKOaQcgd2AEIYqUvtBbZQ" style="height: 194px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; width: 259px;" /> making dumb choices...<br />
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<img class="rg_i" data-src="https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRGAV4uHr_V_jK1oZDanQnkGhA3xs3VLITkf35SK8a-Uf87bQfwIg" data-sz="f" name="syveKVjB75TbVM:" src="https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRGAV4uHr_V_jK1oZDanQnkGhA3xs3VLITkf35SK8a-Uf87bQfwIg" style="height: 183px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: -2px; width: 275px;" />a fairytale come true...<br />
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<img class="rg_i" data-src="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQnGRkvinXMGoKBYYcYWbhA2d_Y8ms4XJNDBhJ20yOZwpU_tW9d" data-sz="f" name="NzNJxurzGTCMNM:" src="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQnGRkvinXMGoKBYYcYWbhA2d_Y8ms4XJNDBhJ20yOZwpU_tW9d" style="height: 167px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; width: 301px;" />never taking responsibility...<br />
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<img class="rg_i" data-src="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQhrW4jJwLpdEmxMmfNbfHrjFhop2hu77CG9IBhO6_UU9xzRgiT" data-sz="f" name="32rVocbCHa7QpM:" src="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQhrW4jJwLpdEmxMmfNbfHrjFhop2hu77CG9IBhO6_UU9xzRgiT" style="height: 165px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; width: 294px;" />and completely lustful.<br />
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when love is really like this...<br />
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<img class="rg_i" data-src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS2OAJQpjD_9aP30ZWknpZW6QfSmEsWksBTKIkiT_zUQ_xT0Trk" data-sz="f" name="-wbQMEjmshXQxM:" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS2OAJQpjD_9aP30ZWknpZW6QfSmEsWksBTKIkiT_zUQ_xT0Trk" style="height: 175px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; width: 263px;" />hanging out with your best friend.<br />
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Why has it taken me so long to figure this out?! Maybe because of the brainwashing that has happened over the years by watching my favorite movies...hmmmm... :-)<br />
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Love has to include lustful attraction, and saying you're sorry. Those are natural parts of a relationship...but all of those other things...um...yeah, no :-) Hanging out and just being myself has been the most freeing part of love that I have ever experienced! What are your favorite things about having found someone you are in love with? What have you learned the most from your experiences? What are you hopeful for when it comes to love? (The romantic kind, people ;-)<br />
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I am so grateful that I have finally realized that I deserve to be loved for all of me...even the crazy parts...cause...I kinda like me...and I guess he does, too! :-)jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-19848876358234866872014-03-24T11:33:00.001-07:002014-03-24T11:58:20.387-07:00Choose to be happy - Choose to have agencyI am getting married - finally - haha...and for those of you who know me, you know that I am not someone who chooses to be unhappy in whatever circumstance I am in. I have never been one to mope that I am not married, and "if only I was I would be happier"...what?! NO. That has just always seemed so nonsensical to me (thank you Pride and Prejudice for that awesome word you taught me :-) Life is meant to be lived, and I always try to make the best of it. Do I have down moments, and have I had some hard times?...heck yes! Have I had nights where I cried in prayer to my Heavenly Father, not understanding why I wasn't married yet, given the fact that I had such a strong desire to be?...you bet I have! But in no way have I ever wanted to let anything like that dictate my day-to-day happiness. Why would anyone else do this?! It has never made sense to me.<br />
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We are all created differently. We have different inner motivations and desires. I truly believe that some people are "wired" in a way that makes them crave the intimacy and attachment of another human being more than others. I have never been one of those people. If I was not LDS, I will admit that I probably would have been more of a one-night-stand kind of girl...sad...but true! LUCKILY...I have had the blessing of having the gospel in my life, so I have remained true in that department, although I have still kissed my fair share of guys.<br />
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Anyway, with that in mind, there are some things that I need to say, though, regarding happiness...and marriage...so...whether you agree with, or like what I have to say, here goes...::::::::>><br />
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I am hoping that this reaches those single, and like-minded individuals, within the LDS culture and even the world, who may have lost sight as to how to find happiness in this life, without being married.<br />
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I was at lunch with my mom the other day when she asked me if I feel as though everything leading up to this point in my life, getting married to the specific man that I am, has prepared me for this. My answer was simple - no. Yes, there have definitely been times of preparation, like the few guys that I dated right before my soon-to-be husband, but my whole life has not been a culmination of things that happened <i>because</i> I was <i>meant</i> to marry him. I don't believe that I am <i>meant</i> to marry anyone - I choose whom I marry. Now, timing is a different thing - I do believe that the Lord plays a role in that, but I must still choose for myself.<br />
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I choose for myself whether to be happy. I have realized that the only reason that I feel like getting married has taken so long, or that I am older and that this is <i>finally</i> happening for me, is because of my own ideas! The LDS church is known for having young people getting married, but that is cultural. I was never taught to "get married at 19 and start popping out those babies!", that is something that I have SEEN with my own eyes, and come to a conclusion is a cultural thing, not a doctrinal thing. Therefore, the only reason I even feel as though I am old for a person getting married is because it is in my own mind.<br />
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When I was a kid, I decided that I wanted to accomplish some things before getting married. I wanted to serve a mission - I have done that. I wanted to go to school - I have done that. I decided that 25 was the PERFECT age to get married. 25 came and went...um...hello?...I wasn't married! Whattheheck...my plan was shot. What was I supposed to do now? Well...I hadn't graduated from school, so I kept doing that. I hadn't gotten married yet, so I kept dating. I knew what kind of man I wanted to marry...so I kept going to church, and praying...and praying...and messing up sometimes...and praying a lot.<br />
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One of my very least favorite things I would hear, and still hear, my single friends say, especially in the LDS religion, is that they are doing OK, they just wish they were married. Obviously this can be stated in many different ways, but you get the idea. The - "I would be happier if I wasn't single" or "I would be happier if I was married" or even, "I have done everything right, why do I have to wait to find the right person?" And, even some friends who have been married, and divorced, or even widowed, getting upset because they "did everything right" up to that point, and then things didn't go like they were "supposed to" and then choosing to be negative and leave the church because of it. This is all, FRUSTRATION, in a nutshell! Yes, I completely understand having goals and working for them, and having them not come to pass when we would like, or even having all of our lives work for one thing, only to have it taken away. We do need to allow ourselves grieving time, and time to heal, but are we told that if we obey the commandments that everything will work out perfectly and be tied up in this cute little bow?...NO. But we can CHOOSE to be happy...there are many ways that we can choose.<br />
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We are told by church leaders to seek out education and become the best that we can in this life. We have even been told that the time will come for all of us to be married, whether in this life or the next, and we must remain true to the commandments and our covenants and that "the church needs everyone" to help in every capacity. I have been in family wards since I was 29, leaving the YSA ward scene at my choosing. I felt it was time for me to serve in other capacities, with youth and primary aged children. I did not want to leave when I was forced to, or begrudgingly...I felt the time myself, and jumped right in. We are told to serve with all of our heart, might, mind and strength...and yes, this is not always easy, but the Lord asks for a "willing heart and mind", and if my heart and mind were not willing or ready, I would not be a good servant. The time was right for me, and although I was scared to be in a family ward, the timing was right. I have served as Primary Music Leader and a Primary teacher, in three different wards now, and it has been such a blessing to me! These opportunities are not available in YSA wards, and I was ready to move on, having been in YSA wards since I was 19: 10 years was long enough for me. :-) Choose the right timing, don't be scared, and realize that there is a place for you! I NEVER felt, and still do not feel un-needed or out of place as a single adult in a family ward setting, and I get so frustrated when I hear friends say that they do! Our weaknesses, insecurities and negative thoughts dictate so often how we believe that others feel about us - we <i>cannot </i>allow our own thoughts to control how we believe the world sees us, and we definitely cannot blame others for our own issues and weaknesses.<br />
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My thoughts are so scattered, that I don't even know how to put everything down like I want to, so I hope you can all follow what I am trying to accomplish here. But, please, let me tell you, that I do not feel as though I have missed out on anything getting married at an older age. There is absolutely no way that I believe I was ready for marriage until now. Goodness, I had a lot of learning to do, and there is always more learning to be done. I am just so extremely grateful for the opportunity to get married, that I couldn't be happier to just have this experience in my life! Blessings come from God, and He gives us agency, agency to choose.<br />
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I am grateful for the opportunity to choose to be happy, everyday. I am grateful to know that the happiness that I choose is not dependent upon whether or not I am married with children, or even successful in a career. King Benjamin taught where true happiness lies in Mosiah 2:41 - "I would desire that ye should consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God. For behold, they are blessed in all things, both temporal and spiritual; and if they hold out faithful to the end they are received into heaven, that thereby they may dwell with God in a state of never-ending happiness."<br />
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No amount of money or fame in this life will ever amount to true happiness, and no amount of self-pity or depression will ever help us reach our goals. If you are unhappy - seek help. If you are unable to get out of a negative mind-set - ask friends and family for direction! Never be afraid to admit a weakness, and never be afraid to allow yourself to move on, and move forward.<br />
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Heavenly Father has put us on this earth to choose happiness, to choose to make our lives full and rich with love and service. The most unwise thing a person can do in this life, is to allow their outside circumstances to affect their inner happiness. Giving others that type of control in your life is one of the most self-destructive things a person can do. Do not allow something that you do not have now to affect your happiness in the moment - that makes no sense! BE the person you desire to marry one day - follow the commandments, never give up, be active, make friends, accomplish new goals, improve your talents and develop new ones. A life that is filled with happiness and a person who chooses to make the best of their circumstance is a person that everyone wants to be around. No one wants to be around a grumpy person who is always complaining about how they allow others to dictate whether their life is happy or not. Do not give others the power that they don't have - the power lies in you. Make a choice to improve yourself, be patient and live the gospel and "consider on the blessed and happy state of those that keep the commandments of God...remember, remember that these things are true; for the Lord God hath spoken it."<br />
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<br />jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-66845517148514411522013-07-14T10:47:00.001-07:002013-07-14T11:01:49.079-07:00What I Know<p dir=ltr>1. I am a beautiful daughter of God.<br>
2. I have a family who loves me.<br>
3. I am blessed beyond what I could have ever imagined.<br>
4. I have been given an unconquerable spirit. <br>
5. I have finally come to love everything about myself.<br>
6. I am happy being single!<br>
7. The man who makes me happier than I am on my own will be the one who gets my heart.</p>
jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-33819703772861046962013-05-05T22:26:00.001-07:002013-05-05T22:27:14.904-07:00I am still beautifulThis is a hard one...I have battled with myself on how to express what has happened without bringing in a few details....but there was no way for me to say what has happened without at least a few things which may be revealing to certain people who may read this. No matter what, everything is a learning experience...I only hope that one day hearts can be fully mended, not only by the Savior but by kind words and deeds as well. <br />
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Alot has happened since my last post. <br />
Not alot of great things. <br />
Learning experiences though.<br />
That I am trying to figure out.<br />
My heart is a precious thing, and I need to only allow it to be treated with tender care. I have been told that any man would be lucky to be with me, and I just need to remember this...<br />
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So, for now...these are the lessons that I have learned...<br />
--Follow the spirit. <br />
--Honesty and integrity matter more than anything else...besides...honesty is a commandment, right? :) Intergrity=doing what is right when no one is looking...this is the definition I tell children and it is the best, I think! <br />
--We choose who we love...it doesn't <em>happen </em>to us...we make that conscious choice - to put in the effort and make it worth it.<br />
--I need to think twice before sharing my heart so quickly.<br />
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That being said...<br />
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There is SO much on the horizon!! I am graduating in a few weeks...ah!! On the 18th of May to be exact :) Grades haven't been fantastic this semester, as "senioritis" has played a big role in this last semester, and sadly been one of my closest friends. I will be definitely be getting one C this semester. <br />
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Here is my list of things to do this Summer! (Spiritual first :)<br />
--Attend the temple more often<br />
--Fulfill my calling better with the extra time I will have on my hands!<br />
--Keep reading the Book of Mormon and add a church book/manual to my studies/reading as well.<br />
--Pay more full attention to the children I nanny and less to technology. <br />
--Book a few princess parties :) (I LOVE being a princess!!...too bad I am 2 inches too tall to be a Disney princess at either of the Disney parks...yes...I recently checked that :)<br />
--Mtn Bike! I re-tore my ACL so I need to do sports which are low impact like biking and swimming. <br />
--Spend alot of time outside with children! Play games and have fun :-)<br />
--Have fun with friends.<br />
--Don't sweat the small stuff. <br />
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<span style="color: yellow;"><span style="background-color: yellow; color: black;">John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.</span> </span><br />
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I am eternally grateful for my Savior and for His tender care. He continually wraps me in the arms of his love. I will ever be grateful for my life and the blessings which I receive. I will constantly strive to improve and learn from others.<br />
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ps I am so tired, I keep nodding off while writing this...so if it doesn't make any sense or is out of character for me to speak about...let me know! <br />
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You are all absolutely amazing. <br />
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I love you,<br />
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Jameejameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-58399211525509889872013-04-23T00:04:00.001-07:002013-04-23T00:04:53.828-07:00I Am Beautiful<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CqfH-ZBeUC0/UXYtgO5F46I/AAAAAAAAARA/KwbYQdldAWA/s1600/night-sky-in-hamden.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CqfH-ZBeUC0/UXYtgO5F46I/AAAAAAAAARA/KwbYQdldAWA/s320/night-sky-in-hamden.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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Tonight I looked at the night sky, which looked very similar to this, and thanked Heavenly Father for all of my wonderful blessings. <br />
I would be remiss if I did not share some of the things that I have been feeling lately with all of you...or...the internet world...haha. This has become more of my journal, but I definitely need to pull out my actual personal journal and detail my experiences for my posterity...side note...check. <br />
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First of all, I want to point out how grateful I am that Heavenly Father has put me through the ringer. That seems odd, I know! I am so grateful for all of the awful and difficult times that I have been through. I know that without these difficult times, I wouldn't understand how amazing my life and my blessings can be!<br />
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Why is it so difficult sometimes to see the good in ourselves? Why does it seem that we need others in our lives to tell us those good things? There has been a video that was put out by Dove that has become viral...see it here - <a href="https://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?v=177481002407692" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?v=177481002407692</a>. My sweet, sweet older brother posted it to my Facebook wall and it made me quite emotional. I don't necessarily believe that this is a problem that only women face, although I believe it may be more obvious or prominent with us. We ALL compare ourselves either to others or who we WANT to become and beat ourselves up over...what?? Not being perfect?? Not measuring up to OTHERS expectations?? Let me tell you - PAUSE. Seriously...pause and REFLECT! Take in all that is good around you, and about yourself. It is not always easy...but if you actually listen to what other people have to say about you that is good, and go to your Heavenly Father in prayer and ask Him to help you see these things, then you will see them! I know, some people may be reading this who do not believe in prayer or God or what have you, but I am sure that you have a way to connect to whatever spiritual beliefs that you hold. Meditate. Ponder. See yourself for all that is good about you...and realize that we all have imperfections...and your life will be so much happier! <br />
Mind you - it took me a good year, at least, to accomplish this. It was a daily task! For that long, I was only able to see my weaknesses and failures and it took effort. It will. That is ok. I believe in you. I love you. <br />
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So...with that said! Wow...I love to go on tangeants....these past few days my eyes have been opened to my Heavenly Father's plan for me in this life. It absolutely amazes me beyond words how much he loves and cares for each one of us...and even for me! As I said before, I am so grateful for my trials, because without them...I would not be where I am now. My life has been full of much heartbreak, a few failed engagements and disappointments. I have always felt that everyone has their own specific lot in life...whether heartbreak, death, sickness or other types of trials. I have not really experienced having someone extremely close to me pass away, nor have I endured much sickness (besides a bum knee). Heavenly Father has allowed my heart to be toyed with, pulled on, stomped on and taken advantage of. But he has also allowed it to be filled with love on numerous occassions. <br />
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I have always been interested in boys. Since I can remember I have thought they were just the neatest and cutest and attractive things on the planet. Yes, I was always one of those annoying girls who chased the boys around on the playground, and who seemed to always have a different "boyfriend" all throughout elementary school. I am not sure where this stemmed from, but I now see I was trying to fill some void possibly in the wrong way. I cannot answer the "how many boys have you kissed?" or "how many boyfriends have you had?" questions. Honestly...I hate them. They are pointless to me. There is more that matters. And I have no idea. I didn't understand what I was doing. I wish that I had. <br />
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As I have gotten older I have understood the important of relationships and respecting myself more. I must live to deserve what I want in this life - BECOME who I want to marry. This takes work, patience and diligence.<br />
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I have been blessed lately for trying. I have been fulfilled in my heart. I have been told how beautiful I am and how special I am. I have not understood how important it is to hear these things until now, and so often.<br />
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So tonight, as I was looking at the night sky, after having read the most amazing thing and realized my most amazing blessings, I thanked Heavenly Father for my trials, as it has made me more grateful for my blessings. <br />
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I am FULL of love. And...it is so peaceful finally. OH....and exciting. I love you all!!!<br />
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Jamee Leejameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-88864824824975958782013-04-18T01:02:00.002-07:002013-04-18T01:04:30.270-07:00Self-Doubt-Pity-PartyI think we all go through moments of self-doubt. <br />
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Sometimes...late at night... when I let my mind wander, I allow myself to talk myself out of believing that anything amazing could ever happen to me. <br />
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"That only happens in fairy tales" I end up concluding.<br />
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"There is no way something this amazing could happen to me, because it never has before."<br />
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Why do we do that?? Why do I do that?!<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-C-T_Ktp84Xw/UW-nu9KkgcI/AAAAAAAAAQo/GchjKJzXGeY/s1600/jamee+australia.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-C-T_Ktp84Xw/UW-nu9KkgcI/AAAAAAAAAQo/GchjKJzXGeY/s1600/jamee+australia.jpg" /></a></div>
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This is a picture of me when I was serving a full-time mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons!) in Adelaide, Australia. This was the most amazing experience I have been blessed with in my life, to date. <br />
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And now I ask, "Really, Jamee?? Nothing amazing could ever happen to you?? Think again."<br />
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Thank you, Heavenly Father, for reminding me of my blessings. <br />
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I will try to be more positive tomorrow :)jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-16807868853391444012013-04-16T22:49:00.000-07:002013-04-16T22:54:16.910-07:00Not My Plan I am constantly reminded that this life I am living is a blessing and gift to me from my Heavenly Father. How do I know this you ask? Well...great question! I will answer that for you :) I was speaking with a friend the other day about how I believe that Heavenly Father (God;) will do EVERYTHING in his power to keep us in his grasp and Satan far from us. I will share a bit of personal information with you...although I do it with a bit of hesitation as it is a very sacred experience to me...so please have this in mind as you read further. <br />
I am sure many if not all of you have experienced being led or guided through your life through instinct, intuition, gut, God, Mother Nature..etc. I believe that the Holy Ghost/Holy Spirit leads and guides me as I allow His influence into my life. As a member of the Mormon (LDS) faith, I know that the Holy Ghost is a comforter, sent to me by a loving Heavenly Father so that I am not left alone to wander about throughout this life not knowing where to go. Although agency is given as a gift, sometimes I need more direction. Sometimes we ask friends and family to help us make decisions...yes...but I believe that my Heavenly Father will listen to any question, problem, pleas, etc. that I bring before Him and lead me with the spirit (Holy Ghost) to where I need to go and what decisions are the best.<br />
Ok, with this in mind, NOW I will tell you my experience. Awhile ago I went through a difficult time...well, not even that long ago. It all started around January of 2010. I went through a difficult time with heartbreak and finances and went into a bit of a tail spin. I didn't realize what was going on inside of me until about July or August of 2011 when I was living in SLC, Utah and called my mom and said..."I think I'm depressed." She told me she already knew and had tried to let me know but I guess I was just not quite ready to hear it. <br />
I set in motion an insane work-out routine with a personal trainer, met with a counselor a few times, spent alot of time alone baking, went through ten-sessions of massage called structural integration (VERY deep tissue), and spent time with my brothers to eventually pull myself out of it. It took patience, determination and perseverance. It is amazing what a little work can do :) I definitely hesitate to share all of this in such detail but feel at the moment that I must and hopefully someone is meant to benefit from it all. As I was living in Utah I had planned to spend at least one more year there before moving back to Boise, ID to finish school. One night I had a dream. It was poignant...it was colorful...I can still see the carpet and even what type it was...it was just so real. It was a dream within a dream. As I talked to friends about it I decided to post it on Facebook and my mom said..."Do you think someone is trying to tell you something?" Never before in my life had I imagined that I would receive personal revelation from my Heavenly Father through a dream. It was obvious through this dream that I was on the wrong path and needed to return back to Boise, ASAP. I waited 4 months until my lease was up, then moved back to Boise. Little did I know I only had 2 more semesters before I could graduate :) <br />
The point of all of this is to let you know that I know there is a Heavenly Father who loves us!! I truly believe that I was far enough on the wrong path that I was not able to receive the impressions from the spirit that I needed and therefore was blessed with a dream. <br />
Because I moved back to Boise, I have been blessed with the opportunity to join Institute Choir, which is like a church choir composed of mostly young single adults who are attending religious classes at an Institute building across from the university camps. I was also asked to lead the choir as one of their Student Directors this semester and it was such a blessing to me! Since I am graduating and older I will be done with choir after this semester and it definitely has pulled with my heart strings. Also, I have formed stronger friendships than I would have ever expected I could with some girl friends here in Boise. I have formed many friendships but these have been the best for me by far. I have met such wonderful supportive people, I could not have asked for more. Also I have started my own business since I have been living here...MY OWN BUSINESS?! I am not an entrepreneur, people!! At least...I never would have thought that I could be. Caring for beautiful children...so fun and such a blessing!!<br />
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And to think...I would have been waiting in Utah probably still twiddling my thumbs at this time. <br />
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Heavenly Father's plan is GREATER than mine...there is no doubt about that!<br />
Love you all dearly :)<br />
Jameejameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-41676224819370870842013-04-11T00:44:00.001-07:002013-04-11T00:50:27.649-07:00My Mind Is a Spiderweb<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;">You are probably thinking...a spiderweb?? What the heck, Jamee, what does that even mean?! </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Well, in thinking about this blog post, I seriously debated whether or not I would keep my blog private or public. There is SO MUCH on my mind that I want to be specific and say "blah blah blah" happened with "Blah" and then..."blah!!" So there are all of the juicy details!! BUT...this does not need to be an open forum for my extremely personal life. Sorry T Swift but I am not you...I do not have the bravery to say exact names and circumstances. The last thing I would want would be for the person I decide to write about to come across my blog and possibly feel offended or not like that I have been so public with something that they may have wanted to keep private. I have defnitely learned to not be that way from past experiences. But I will tell you all that my natural tendencies are to just lay EVERYTHING out there and go..."whew! That feels better! Now...have fun with all of THAT information that I just threw up to you." haha. True...but not always necessary :)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Anyway, with that being said, I want to be able to keep my blog public so that those who may be interested in the workings of a brain like mine, or interested at all in the Mormon/LDS religion, and what we are all about, or at least what I am about, then they have something hopefully fun and interesting to read. :) AND...it is good practice for me to always be kind, nice and accepting of all. We all have our judgmental tendencies and I truly pray that I am improving in being more accepting of all. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Now that I have told you all of that I am trying to remember what was pressing on my brain so much that I had to jump on my blog to tell you about it! Um...um...um...ohoh. Well...how do I say this? Sometimes I ruminate on things that don't need to be analyzed. Like earlier, for example. I was thinking of all that has happened in the past little while with my life and all that is coming up. I finally returned to Boise over a year ago to finally complete school after not having realized I had been gone for 3 years already after a mini-hiatus, and I graduate on May 18th! Ok...I may have mentioned these things already, but they cause me to stop and think. Forgive me but I am going to ramble on in a million different directions and nothing may connect...</span><br />
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My niece, Audree, and I this past weekend. I LOVE her!!!</div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">I love children and especially babies! I think this may be preeeeettty obvious to those of you who know that I have been running my own childcare/princess party business since July of last year. Precious Princess Services is how I have made money since then and is the only job that I have survived off of. I work regularly for two families and absolutely LOVE my time with them! I remember being afraid to watch children back in the day because I thought if I did I would get sick of kids and not want my own. HA! What was I thinking?! Hanging out with children definitely fulfills my needs and makes me less of an "I want to get married to have babies" kind of girl. I think it has made me more of an "I definitely don't want 6 kids any more" type of girl. hahaha! But, that being said, whatever Heavenly Father wants for me, I will accept! Honestly, I accept this. I love my life as it is! I have amazing opportunities to serve, love, lead, learn, etc. and can't imagine having more opportunities like that!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Recently we watched General Conference which is on twice a year - when our prophet, Thomas S. Monson, and his counselors and the twelve apostles speak to us, as well as any others high in authority in the church. I was SO SO touched and happy with the talk by Elder Jefferey R. Holland (an all-time favorite) who spoke about not being "fake" but moving forward with whatever faith that you have and building upon it. He said that we have more faith than we know. I LOVE that message! The whole thing :) I try to keep my heart and mind on the fact that I know that there is a specific plan for me in this life and that as I pray to be guided I may continue to fulfill this plan. <a href="http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/lord-i-believe?lang=eng">http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/lord-i-believe?lang=eng</a> - The whole talk can be found here...and that is just what I took from it. Obviously, we all take what we want and need from everything that we come across in life...that is the amazing thing about perspective and agency!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">There was so much more on my mind but I believe that it is shutting down since it's almost 2am! I love all of you so much! Anyone who I may not know...I love you as well :) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS;">Jamee</span>jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-50241480006609719492013-03-22T22:20:00.000-07:002013-03-22T22:27:57.034-07:00The Flip-Side of MeSometimes I am regular old me - the one who walks into a room all hyper and crazy happy and smiling and thuper exthited for everything!! And then there's the flip-side of my personality, the me who I am not so often, but still sometimes - the quiet, kinda depressed and depressing, just here to be here, me. I am learning to be ok with this every day. I will probably write about this often. <br />
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I wish that I could say at 31 I've pretty much figured myself out. No one can actually say that. I believe that there will always be people out there who definitely think they have <em>completely</em> figured<em> </em>themselves out, buuuuuuuut give them some time...and they'll re-think that for sure. Now, I'm talking about knowing the intricacies of yourself...not only what your moral core entails, but why you act the way you do, your emotional needs, your abilities and how you express them and so on.<br />
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It was only back in 2011-2012 that I was finding out I had done things a BIT wrong. For some reason...I never understood what us Communication Majors call "emotional intelligence". This is understanding your emotions, being able to recognize them and fully express them at appropriate times and places. At least...that is kind of <em>my</em> spin on the definition. <a href="http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest=3037">http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest=3037</a> - here is a CRAZY LONG emotional intelligence test. I started it and got through about the first 15 questions - patience is still something I'm working on ;) ...there are like 146 questions or something there so...if you have time and have a strong desire to know your emotional intelligence, the results may be interesting! So...back to my story I kinda started! I went through a type of personality crisis back in 2011-12 and spent a long time figuring myself out, whatever that means. I spent more time alone in about a year than I had spent collectively in all of my living years previous to that. I gave myself time to think - about why I wasn't as happy as I used to be, about what I really wanted and who I really was. Had I spent my <em>whole </em>life as the entertainer at the party when I didn't always feel like being that way? I was extremely confused and gave myself time to think, ponder and pray.<br />
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1 Corinthians 14:33 - "For God is not the author of <span style="background-color: #e06666;">confusion</span>, but of <span style="background-color: #ffd966;">peace</span>, as in all churches of the Saints." Heavenly Father teaches us that His spirit will bring us peace. As we seek his peace we will find clarity, as his way is not to lead us to confusion. I also love that this scripture points out in <em>all </em>churches of the Saints - no matter your religion - if God's spirit does not bring you a sense of peace, serenity and calm assurance, then something is incorrect. His way is never one of boasting, pride, or of being overzealous. I know that when the spirit is strong in my life, I am full of pure joy and faith in my Heavenly Father's plan for me. I may sometimes wonder what a correct decision is for me at the time, but this does not mean I am confused. I know that as I make decisions and move forward with those decisions with a prayer in my heart, the spirit (Holy Ghost) will confirm to me whether that decision is correct or not. If it is not correct, I make another decision and once again go through the process. When I have followed this pattern in my life to the best of my ability, I have been lead to make correct decisions. <br />
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I know this, but sometimes it's easy to forget. I have definitely not always prayed about big decisions before making them, and sometimes my prayers have not been approached correctly. <br />
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At the time I was trying to figure out who I was inherently - yes, I believe in an "essential" self, as I know that I existed as a spirit child before coming to this earth - and who I wanted to be. I sought the guidance of the spirit, family and close friends, mostly in that order. Yes, I sought professional counseling and also used the gym as my counselor, working with a personal trainer to meet fitness goals...this last thing helped <em>immensely</em>, more than I would have expected! When in a time of sadness, or trial, setting a new health or fitness goal truly makes a difference. <a href="http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression-and-exercise/MH00043">http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression-and-exercise/MH00043</a> - read here how exercising improves depression and mental illness. <br />
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The reason I am even sharing all of this, and I know I'm writing alot so bear with me - is, since I have gotten to know myself better, my emotional intelligence has improved - I am able to recognize when I need time away to allow myself a moment of sadness or "down time"...or even just time to be by myself or just with family doing absolutely nothing. The hard part is when I don't have time for downtime. <br />
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Let me tell you, if you do not plan time for YOU...YOU will not survive. Give yourself time to sit, ponder, pray, meditate, commune, whatever you need to do to center yourself! For me...I would love a temple trip. Every time I plan one I seem to have some huge homework assignment come up or work happens......BUT.....I will make it there, because I have to for my own sanity :) <br />
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Things I love to keep myself centered, focused, calm and peaceful<br />
1) Constant prayer - always helps :) <br />
2) Good, supportive family and friends :) <br />
3) The Gym (I need to remember this one because I don't go often enough!!)<br />
4) Hot Yoga (Ok...this one would help - this is a reminder...I have only been once since I got my Groupon :)<br />
5) Baths - <em>seriously</em><br />
6) NOT homework :)<br />
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Long post...I promise...when I thought about writing it...it had more of a point :)<br />
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Love :)<br />
<br />jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-52233467369502749642013-03-19T00:53:00.000-07:002013-03-22T21:17:40.602-07:00A Long Time in the Making<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Today I realized that I haven't written a blog post in awhile...although I am up doing homework, trying to frantically keep up with this (my last!!) semester - I just can't seem to stay <em>focused</em> <em>- </em>I kept feeling a need to start up my blog once again. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"> So...here you have it. Whatever THIS is. I honestly have not thought through what to write today except to say "hello." I am alive! I am finally graduating University in May...I have definitely taken tooooooooo much time off here and there...and here and there again! :) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"> I am coming to understand myself more every day. Through my classes at college</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">I am realizing my weaknesses and strengths in how I communicate...not only how I communicate myself in general, but what this also says to others. I have been made to think a few things - Am I too forward? Do I speak too much out of turn? Am I too competitive in conflict situations? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"> This leads me to think of more Christian, spiritual questions...Am I a good friend? Do I give enough service? Do I share the Gospel often enough and at the right times?</span> <span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I pray that these questions can more than not be answered "yes" than "no". </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"> At the end of this year I plan to move to Virginia. I am excited because this will bring a welcome change and I will finally have the opportunity to spend time with my MTC (Missionary Training Center) companion and all of her children whom I have never met! The last time I saw her was on her wedding day, back in 2005 or 2006? Since then she has had more than a few children and is pregnant once again. It will be so great to get to know her once again in this new stage of life. I am definitely excited! Yet, I am reluctant.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"> I feel that when I finally get comfortable where I am at, when I am really beginning to make friends and spend time with them, and grow close to them - especially my girl friends - I leave them. Sometimes this is brought on by my own uneasiness in living somewhere for too long as I love change, but sometimes it is because I feel it is time to move or more specifically that Heavenly Father is leading me somewhere new. I don't always know where that "new" place is, and I definitely have made some wrong decisions in the past as to where I am supposed to move to...so...let's just say that <em>I'm still praying about Virginia</em> ;)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"> I don't want to leave the Boise LDS Institute Choir with which I have grown so fond of being a part of. Not only do amazing people<em> </em>belong to it every time I have had the opportunity to be involved, but the spirit that I feel there is amazing. Sometimes we all need a little bit of spiritual nourishment, even when we don't realize we need it! I have often sung in a performance or practice with this choir, not realizing I needed to commune with my Heavenly Father, and been sometimes literally <em>struck</em> by the power of the spirit, bringing me peace, a feeling of comfort and a sweet calm that overcomes me. I love the peace that the spirit brings, and the joy that a knowledge of the gospel brings. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"> Also, although I am definitely an independent child, I have definitely grown closer to my mom and step-dad this time around. Going through a time of figuring myself out a bit more has caused me to be more in-tune with others as well, and has definitely caused a closer relationship with my family in many ways...I love them so much! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"> Since I wrote last I have also begun working with children as my main source of income. This income is definitely hit-and-miss but I have been extremely blessed to have steady work. I think Heavenly Father knew that I needed a break from corporate America...(haha!!)...but seriously, I did not try as hard as I should have to become somewhat self-employed as a nanny-for-hire :) I was definitely blessed, and have learned more than I EVER thought I could as to how to be a good mother, and how to raise my children in the right way. My needs of having children are fulfilled enough to not be a burden and pressure when in the dating world. It is SO nice to feel fulfilled in that way and be able to be more fully myself :) </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;"> With these random thoughts in the universe...:)...I would ask you what you have done lately to feed your soul? This may seem like a pretty corny/cheesy question, but I am asking it anyway! What have you done to fulfill <em>you</em>? In service to others, furthering education in any capacity, not being afraid to love, and being a good friend and family member, we can fill our own "love buckets"...I am lucky...right now, mine is pretty full :)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Love you ;-)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Jamee</span></div>
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jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-87959778373524022962012-04-09T20:39:00.001-07:002012-04-09T21:11:44.998-07:00Family - Isn't It About, Time? ;)<i>This was a very random posting...I didn't think through the order of things - I just typed. I hope it makes sense. :)</i><br />
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<p>So, in the Latter-Day Saint (LDS, Mormon) church, family is the center of everything. Well, obviously Jesus Christ is our Savior and we try to live our lives like Him and seek guidance from our Heavenly Father...BUT - a family is what we all strive to have. My mind has been on this topic lately.</p><br />
<p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MHeKz4wFzNA/T4OoJOJQygI/AAAAAAAAANA/HgCetbvEK8E/s1600/happy%2Bfamily.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="213" width="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MHeKz4wFzNA/T4OoJOJQygI/AAAAAAAAANA/HgCetbvEK8E/s320/happy%2Bfamily.jpg" /></a></div>This is some random happy family - cute :)</p><br />
<p>First of all I want to point out one important goal in life - the Savior and Heavenly Father's goal is the same - "To bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." - Pearl of Great Price; Moses 1:39. So how is this accomplished? It is accomplished through having a family that is eternal and returns to live with our Heavenly parents/family and friends again.</p><br />
<p>We all seek for a higher power, heaven, nirvana, to be reincarnated as something or someone beautiful and strong...whatever you seek this is where my beliefs lie.</p><br />
<p>In the gospel, the LDS church, we believe in having our own families here that are brought together with an eternal bond through the authority or Priesthood of God. This has been passed down through very short lines of authority that lead to Jesus Christ. Most Priesthood holders in the church can actually show you a paper with the names of those men in their line.</p><br />
<p>Anyway, let's just say I'm not typical in the church. Yet, my circumstance is becoming more typical. But I still run into those that I meet that say "You're not a typical Mormon girl." Why? Well....let me guess...</p><p>1) I don't have any children.</p><p>2) I am not married. (usually around 19)</p><p>3) I served a full-time mission. (usually you see boys with black name tags on, riding bikes...yeah...I did that bike-riding, door-knocking thing too ;)</p><p>4) Although I've been (kindof) close to marriage a few times, I've actually never had a relationship last longer than 4 months.</p><p>5) I don't attend a single's ward :) haha</p><p>OK...I added that last one in just for fun. That doesn't actually mean anything ;)</p><br />
<p>This hasn't always been easy for me, mainly because I know the gospel is centered around families, and I sincerely believe in all of its teachings and want to fulfill my role as a mother and wife in this life as well. Not because it has somehow been forced upon me but because I seriously have always had a natural desire for these things.</p><br />
<p>Once, I was working at a Community Center...hanging out with kids all day...fantastic. The girl that ran the front desk, the day before she was leaving to go back to school came up to me and said "You know, I think differently of LDS girls now because of you. I really respect the fact that you've just done what you've wanted. So many of my Mormon girl friends were married young and already have a bunch of kids and I just felt sorry for them that they didn't get to live more of a life than they did. You've really done alot of awesome things and give me a new respect for the gospel." All of the staff members, including this girl, were strong Christian/Baptist so I completely respected her opinion, and also always stood out. I was somewhat stunned that she told me these things, although glad she could see there are differences in every religion. Not everyone is a "textbook" Mormon. And...although I have definitely not purposefully tried....she was right about me.</p><br />
<p>But when these things are said, all I ever want to say is - "But all I've ever wanted to do is raise a family and be a mother." But this isn't completely true. We all have dreams and goals and definitely I have accomplished some of these things. But driving down a road thinking...wow this is great I could do anything I want ever because it's just me...isn't my idea of fun. It used to be. I'm over that now. I'd like to live in one place for years and get to know my neighbors...that would be nice...and comforting.</p><br />
<p>Off the subject, though. I definitely told this wonderful girl my true desires in life and that I hope none of those girls regret their decisions...and everyone has their own opinions. But if Heavenly Father has blessed me to be in this circumstance for my life for a reason...such as standing out...since there's no way I can't given my circumstance in life...then I guess I will.</p><br />
<p>We've all been given gifts and talents to share with others, and we're all required to strengthen our weaknesses to become better! Weakness number one for me - 1) Patience. I'm definitely working on this in many different ways ;)</p><br />
<p>Throughout life it's easy (eventually) to determine what strength/talents/gifts you are here to share with others. I definitely know that if we suppress those talents they will not remain with us. Also, it is selfish to keep your gifts to yourself. We do this when we're scared or pretending to act humble. Humility is NOT hiding what you've been given. Although it is scary to share the talents/abilities we have with others, there are people that desperately need to be blessed with those things that you have. Withholding the opportunity to bless others I think is one of the most selfish things of all. It definitely doesn't make anyone look good...but it does make us weak. And why would God continue to bless you with something you do not use? He will give the gift to someone who shares it.</p><br />
<p>For some reason I have been given the ability to work with children. I strayed from this ability for years thinking that if I worked with them I would not want my own. Haha...weird mindset, right? Well, eventually I had to fulfill my need for having my own children since that was not happening but surrounding myself with them. I started work at a Community Center and found that my need was fulfilled. Hanging out with them, teaching them and getting to know them somewhat fulfilled the natural need in me for my own. This has taught me definite patience...and that there is more that I can give. I work with the children in my ward, teaching them music. Absolutely...the best calling, ever!</p><br />
<p>Blessings come in all forms. No one...that I have ever met...fits a "mold". We all are different and have something to add to the picture. I need you. You need me. This is family. We function as a whole. We are here to create and teach and learn...this is what families are for. I believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ and that it is centered on families...so that we may learn to be as our Father in Heaven...that created us and sent his son...Jesus Christ...to die for us. You parents, imagine having to do that. To give up your oldest, first born child...to die for your other children so that they could return to you. That is true sacrifice. Being a parent teaches ultimate sacrifice and ultimate love.</p><br />
<p>This is the <a href="http://www.lds.org/family/proclamation?lang=eng">Proclamation to the World</a>. This is the LDS church's stance on family. I believe this with all of my heart. I love you all :)</p>jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-28231085379509891522012-03-04T23:55:00.005-08:002012-03-05T00:50:24.564-08:00Mormon 101 - we all have opinions, even in the church!This evening...before it hit midnight, since it's already almost 1am...I was reading an article in the Washington Post on an LDS woman named Joanna Brooks. Here's her blog - www.askmormongirl.com. Visit this site at your own discretion. Honestly, she doesn't say anything extremely negative about the LDS faith. As a practicing Mormon I can understand <span style="font-style:italic;">some</span> of her viewpoints. But after reading this article, which gives details about a self-proclaimed feminist, once inactive in the church, now again practicing and married with children to a Jewish man (and by stating these things I'm just telling you a little about her), I was a bit derailed. But, why?? I couldn't figure out why someone as seemingly unassuming as Mrs. Brooks would bother me. Now, I want you all to know it isn't because I think necessarily negatively about her own ideas. What I don't appreciate is some of the things she pointed out that "Mormons think." <br /><br />Aren't we all different? Don't we ALL see things differently because we are all different people? It doesn't even matter your religious viewpoint in this argument. I truly believe that we are all small parts of the people we have met throughout our lives, so it's absolutely impossible for any of us to be the same or think the same.<br /><br />"We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere."<br />Tim McGraw...haha.<br /><br /> I KNOW this is definitely NOT Tim McGraw that stated this first, but it's definite reality from my perspective. All I'm trying to say is that you can say "ALL MORMONS think....something...." as easily as I could say all Jews think something and we would both be wrong. Something Mrs. Brooks stated on her website, when speaking of blacks receiving the Priesthood is this -"But I too grew up hearing those old racist teachings about the curse of Cain and Ham, and the fencesitters in the pre-existence, and all the rotten rest of it." Also -"It is ugly painful to see people you love, people you believe are capable of better, satiate themselves on thinly reasoned prejudices. In God’s name." The definite reality of these two separate remarks is learning the difference between opinion and fact. These are not DOCTRINES taught in the church...Cain and Ham is a definite Bible story...but ALL of the rest are opinions - opinions that some people have confused as facts - it's up to each individual person to get their FACTS straight. <br /><br /> What do I know?....that God, Heavenly Father knows all. If I'm not sure of something...I pray about it, I read about it and may even research it a bit. I do know that when the Priesthood was able to be given to all men in 1978,(to read more about this, please go <a href="http://lds.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?site=http://www.jefflindsay.com/LDSFAQ/FQRace.shtml">HERE</a>) when the ban was lifted from not allowing black men the Priesthood, that there was rejoicing in Heaven, and amongst all in the LDS church. And let me tell you, this is a very touchy subject I know...so please go to the above link for a lot of detail on Black men receiving the Priesthood.<br /><br />The way we get ourselves into trouble is trying to think that there has to be a DEFINITE answer to all things. Well, I have an answer. As I search for answers, when I don't agree with doctrine or it doesn't sit easily with me, I ask for clarity from my Heavenly Father....why? This may seem pointless to many of you reading this, thinking that I can't be told anything directly from a being that may or may not exist. That is understandable. But let me tell you, there is nothing more clear than the peace the Holy Ghost brings...and the guidance Heavenly Father gives through that spirit. It's unlike anything I've ever known....and I'm still floored at the validity of it all. In (KJV) John 14:16 it reads "And I will pray the Father, and He shall give you another Comforter, that He may abide with you forever." This, speaking of the Holy Ghost as the comforter...and that's exactly what he does - comforts. <br /><br />Honestly, I don't know all things. I don't know why all things happen ALL of the time. But, do any of us? Maybe that's why we sometimes reason things away...saying..."it must be because of this...", when really...we're just trying to make ourselves feel better. Just like Mrs. Brooks is trying to make herself feel better by saying that being a "progressive" Mormon defines her better. And, maybe it does...because she believes in the same faith as I do. And me speaking negatively of how she perceives most Mormons to be doesn't make me any better than her, does it? <br /><br />This is Mormon 101 because, well...every day I'm trying to teach myself how to be better. I would like to believe that I'm an accepting and loving person. That others are allowed their opinions and that expressing myself is just as therapeutic as I'm hoping it will be. So, this is Jamee Lee's version of Mormon 101. I'm definitely imperfect and I may seek for answers differently than you do...but what makes us so different from each other, really? Well....our experiences, that's what. Luckily, right? If not...how interesting would this world really be?jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-29871510456370575042012-02-11T16:04:00.000-08:002012-02-11T16:35:57.713-08:00In StyleWe all want to be completely in style, right? Well, some of us ;) I'm one of those weird girls that enjoys reading fashion magazines and trying the new styles. But really, I just like to know what is current so when I go shopping I know what to look for! I hate looking like a dummy...haha. Growing up, I lived in a small town and wore Levi's 501's just about every day with a t-shirt. Nothing special. Sundays were the days when I dressed up. I did always enjoy putting on a skirt and doing my hair, but didn't have the drive to do that every day...but Sundays were definitely my day to doll it up. NOW...I LOVE fashion! I am an avid reader of <a href="http://www.instyle.com/instyle">In Style</a>...why, do you ask? Well, I always loved magazines, but a few years ago I decided that they all had those disgusting articles on "How to please your man in bed...", etc. So, I didn't buy magazines. Then, one day I decided to look at the covers of each magazine for a few months in a row while I was standing in line every time I went to the grocery store to see if I could possibly find which magazine(s) didn't run sex articles. After a few months of looking, I realized only TWO women's fashion magazines don't run them - In Style and <a href="http://www.vogue.com">Vogue</a>. I love both of them but gravitate toward In Style for its readability. I will definitely be sharing some of my favorite fashion tips of the moment...whenever I get the urge to. One of my favorite things right now is pink lipstick! Now...I would definitely go with a color that's good with your skin. Make sure to try with the cheaper brands so you're not wasting too much money before you go and buy some super expensive color you hate! <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PDVM2Slw310/TzcGIZ6IJ4I/AAAAAAAAAMA/46Nub7Yg5sU/s1600/CIMG0181.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PDVM2Slw310/TzcGIZ6IJ4I/AAAAAAAAAMA/46Nub7Yg5sU/s320/CIMG0181.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5708037794178803586" /></a> I absolutely LOVE this color! And guess what? It's Wet 'n Wild..<a href="http://wnwbeauty.com/product.php?cid=16&pid=62&subid=28">in Retro Pink</a>$.97 at Walmart! So fun :)<br />So, that's my current favorite trend :)<br /><br />Also, my brothers are in town and my brother's adorable pregnant girlfriend is too adorable! Isn't life fantastastic? The fact that we can literally create another person inside of us...well...half of us :)...is just absolutely amazing. She talks about the baby flipping around in her and how it feels and it just seems so surreal to me. I can't wait for that experience ;) I'll definitely be patient for it. Patience...it's been easier for me lately...and I'm completely grateful for that :) <br /><br />SO...what are YOUR favorite fashion trends? :) <br /><br />PS...if you want to know how to work the wardrobe you already have, take a look at my ex-roomie's internet site, that just started out as a modest blog - <a href="http://www.clothedmuch.com/">Clothed Much</a> I shopped through her closet a few times when we lived together ;) This girl knows how to dress! <br /><br /><3 Jameejameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-67758839204154134132012-01-08T19:32:00.000-08:002012-01-08T19:45:16.384-08:00How I'm REALLY Feeling...This is pure honesty...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IipSfJdjeYc/TwpgMSlEHqI/AAAAAAAAALs/SDsyQjIM5S8/s1600/newhair2012.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 239px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-IipSfJdjeYc/TwpgMSlEHqI/AAAAAAAAALs/SDsyQjIM5S8/s320/newhair2012.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5695470443025407650" /></a><br />So, I just finished watching, well...a few...movies, which made me contemplate what I'm really looking for. <br />This is what I definitely enjoy at the moment, that trumps everything else I'm "supposed" to be doing, whatever that means. 1) NOT working overtime 2) Crocheting, with a hot pad on my back, while watching whatever fun thing is on the TV at the time...but I'm definitely a movie-holic 3) Eating healthy 4) Working out......about 2 times a week...ha 5) Absolutely relaxing.<br />That's it. Really. I definitely don't enjoy going out and being social right now. Nothing makes me happier than knowing that I'm almost done at work, and can then just go home, relax...and put my pj's on. <br />Now, after thinking deeply about that, and realizing that I'd rather do that than date or meet anyone new....well....I'm allowing it. I'm allowing myself the opportunity to just chill out, relax and take time for myself. Mostly, because I never allowed myself to stop for very long with whatever I was doing in almost all of the past years of my life. I'm tired...I'm not in the mood to shake my tail feathers or whatever...haha, but seriously! <br />This is where the pure honesty sets in. I was talking to a girl friend of mine the other day...whom just got married - congrats!...and she was talking about what scared her about dating and marriage, before finally finding the guy. The only thing I could think of is......I'm scared of it actually working out. I definitely know I run or push the guy away when things start going well. And, yes, although I have had some relationships in the very long ago that could have worked that I didn't end, I'm not sure I wouldn't have eventually done just that. <br />And...well, that's all I have to say right now. This is honesty without me trying to figure out why, or talk myself into something that absolutely freaks me out...mostly because...I'd have no idea what to do if a relationship actually worked out. I've never gotten that far before. And I'm pretty positive I haven't let my emotions be completely available for anyone in a few years at least. <br /><br />That's the truth.jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-1106299095192323982011-11-29T22:38:00.000-08:002011-11-29T23:05:56.122-08:00A RantWARNING!! This is SERIOUSLY a bit of a rant! More positivity next time is definitely needed. PS...look above under my header for Kristina's Take ;) One of my best friends! She's so smart...and we definitely have different lives and points of view. love it, love her. <A href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-drLxcsO8Pq0/TtXQWyRlFsI/AAAAAAAAALI/hVTGDCWEL2k/s1600/CIMG0112.jpg"><IMG style="WIDTH: 320px; HEIGHT: 240px; CURSOR: hand" id=BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5680675594868954818 border=0 alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-drLxcsO8Pq0/TtXQWyRlFsI/AAAAAAAAALI/hVTGDCWEL2k/s320/CIMG0112.jpg"></A> Kristina and I at Temple Square in Salt Lake City, UT. Isn't it beautiful?<br /><OBJECT id=BLOG_video-82daf2d6d821581 class=BLOG_video_class width=320 height=266 contentId="82daf2d6d821581"></OBJECT><br /><br />OK....it was late! When I say "reading" this, I obviously mean watching this. And...by ALL of my brothers...I mean...both of my brothers. Wow...I just listened to this again...I was definitely on a soap box...as I get when it's late...and I'm tired. I don't blame you if you don't listen to the whole thing ;) Love you all!jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-90667889769208015822011-11-23T23:26:00.000-08:002011-11-23T23:35:23.814-08:00In Mah Car...Waiting for the Brother ;)<OBJECT id=BLOG_video-5896d69de6616b1d class=BLOG_video_class width=320 height=266 contentId="5896d69de6616b1d"></OBJECT>Yee haw...I love Thanksgiving!jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1401579092917497409.post-13831742151688493382011-11-20T21:29:00.001-08:002011-11-20T21:34:01.907-08:00Day 2 of Vlogging :)<OBJECT id=BLOG_video-6f85a21f06f99a7f class=BLOG_video_class width=320 height=266 contentId="6f85a21f06f99a7f"></OBJECT>Since I didn't say anything about it in my video...obviously...still no men....obviously...I mean...it's been what...a few days? haha. PS...does anyone have any advice on how to make talking to a camera not so awkward? It's hard for me to not have to re-do my video a few times to make sure I don't sound too fake...lol...(should I picture my best friend while I'm talking?...haha) Kthanksbye!jameeleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08623053121055953628noreply@blogger.com0