It's been awhile...

I am so sorry I haven't written in awhile! A lot has happened...well...a few things have happened, and it is time I share them!

We moved out of my parent's house (yay!) - although we had tons of fun with them...it is nice to be on our own. We are currently house sitting until April of next year. We were blessed to have a couple in our ward ask us if we wanted to house sit for them wile they served a 6 month mission, and it was RIGHT ON TIME. We were starting to freak out a little about apartments/rent/etc. So, this is giving us a little more time to save up for a deposit/etc.

Also................................................................................................................I'm pregnant! Yay! It is...so much fun?? Honestly, not really. I have had a pretty hard sick and exhausted time of it, and I can't wait for this first trimester to be over so I can enjoy it a little bit. I am definitely grateful to finally be able to have my own baby. It is something that I have dreamed of for years, yet never fully allowed myself to believe it would happen in this life - that way I wouldn't be too disappointed if it didn't. Haha...I am such a funny girl - like my husband says ;-)

Anyway, I am exactly 12 weeks and 5 days pregnant...well...I am at work and it is almost 1 am so...12 weeks and 6 days. :) I am finally starting to show a little, but haven't taken a recent photo so I will have to do that so I can post it! I have had two dreams so far that we are having a boy and I had one dream before we found out I was pregnant that we were having a girl....so...who knows! I just care that the baby is whole and healthy. Sometimes I get scared because I still can't feel it move, although I know I won't be able to for awhile. It would just be such a refreshing and happy feeling to know that the baby is alive and happy and kicking (literally) in there. At our first ultrasound at 10 weeks it was moving so much! It made me so happy that it had two arms and two legs and a heart beat and a little brain we could see as well. Isn't it all such a miracle?

Anyway, I can't wait for the day I am not so exhausted all of the time, and that my brain works better...haha. It is hard to work as a dispatcher for 10 hours at a time and not forget to tell the officers things sometimes. It is annoying, but hey, it comes with the territory. For now I am just praying that I am one of those women who isn't sick her whole pregnancy and that it subsides a bit at 14 weeks - the beginning of my second trimester. But if it continues...I will continue on...and try to stay happy!

This 32 year old first time pregnant lady is tired...and sick...but growing a human :-) I can't wait to see what my baby looks like! More than anything right now...I can't wait to feel it move for the first time. There is always something to look forward to - even amongst the nausea and vomiting.

PS - I just have to tell you all what a WONDERFUL husband I have! He does housework, dishes, cooks for himself because I just can't stand the smell right now, never makes me feel bad for doing nothing around the house when I am exhausted, always tells me he loves me, loves my growing belly, thinks it's funny that I sleep so much and appreciates everything I do for him. I am SO blessed. I can't wait for our new addition and for the fun ride along the way, no matter how difficult it may be sometimes...it's still so cool!

Blessings and struggles.

  So, marriage is good...it is fun to wake up to your best friend every morning...when you get that luxury :-)

Almost three weeks into our marriage Clayton left for annual military training for three weeks - that was no fun! Luckily I did get to see him by chance twice in that time, but it was hard being newly married. I thought about the struggles and sacrifices that others have had to make in the past. When the LDS church was being established, men who had wives and children would leave their families for years at a time to do missionary work and spread the gospel, often overseas. Now, husbands and wives work government jobs, in hospitals, or doing other various careers that take them away from their families for extended periods of time. No matter what, we survive. Although it was hard for me to be without my husband, there are always harder things out there that I have not had to deal with, and I'm grateful for the blessings that I have.

I am grateful for a husband who loves me.
I am grateful for a roof over my head - even if it's currently my parent's house :-).
I am grateful for the church and all I have learned from it.
I am grateful for a healthy body.
I am grateful for the gifts and talents that I have been given.
I am grateful for friends and family who love me.

It's so easy to complain when things don't go our way, or see the negative when we wish they could just be different, and I have been doing a lot of complaining lately. But I have realized that although I want my husband to come home to me every night and I wish I didn't have a job where I have to work sometimes on Sundays, I will be grateful for what I have and stay strong and hold on for those things that will bless my life later on, whether they happen on this earth or when I pass from it - we have been told to endure to the end, not just endure until we are done trying. I have complained enough lately, and it's time for gratitude. I have so much, and I am so happy that I do.