Sunday, April 18
No wonder dating is SO hard these days!! If any of you have seen the poll results, our views of the roles during the courting "process" are SCREWED UP. Out of the 5 guys that took the poll...3 wanted to be chased! WHAT?! NO...nononono...this is NOT right. Only 1 out of the 9 girls that took the poll wanted to chase...the rest...as it should be...wanted to be hunted!
Look men...you are MADE to be the hunters. As the above picture shows...women want to be found, loved, taken care of, nurtered and protected. This is how we were CREATED as a race. Inherently...men have been given that "hunter/gatherer" gene, and women...the desire to be found...and wooed by that handsome, caring, loving man. Of course, there will always be exceptions! Every once in awhile, there will be a girl that likes to do the chasing more than being chased, and vice-versa...BUT...this is much more rare.
It is no wonder that the divorce rate in this world is over 50%...probably even higher now since I checked. Even in my religion...the Mormon religion...we are getting married at higher ages, having less children, and have a 50% divorce rate!
THE PROBLEM - It all started with women's suffrage. We wanted an equal voice! And, that is the way it should have always been. But, there was a confusion in the process. Feminism came to play...there are many different branches/types/layers of feminism, some being radical, post-modern, first, second and third wave feminism. They are VERY different. Many things I agree with and many I do not. I believe there is absolute necessity for everyone's voices to be heard in the scholarly world, business world....etc....and that women's voices are finally beginning to be heard, BUT...there has been HUGE confusion on the subject of courting. Men have been VERY mislead through all this, thinking that if women wanted to be equal, then they must not want things to be done for them...opening doors, pulling out chairs, ordering the meal...and even asking on dates. I have spoken to many younger girls who find it completely normal to ask guys on dates on a regular basis. WHOA!! THAT is where the problem is! Now, our men have grown up and will continue to grow up confused unless we clear this up! Men who still know what it is to be a man will find you! (Now men...I know you are men :)
A few good friends have taught me some really great things recently--->
- Be patient, and the right man will find YOU...i.e....he will ask you out!...flirt it up! :)
- It will only end right, if it starts right.
Now, I am not trying to take all of the responsibility away from the women! Guys, don't think that at all! Women, watch the old movies! Even then, the women flirted their way into the men's hearts! They did not EXPECT that the guy should just KNOW to ask them out! Men aren't mind readers, you know! Flirt, dress up, wear makeup...and make it pretty obvious that you like them! They'll pick up on the hints eventually.... :) That IS our responsibility. Don't play stupid, idiotic, high school games and make them wonder....that is just ridiculous. There will always be flirtatiousness and small game-playing to keep things alive...but make sure they know how you FEEL.
That is my rant!
PS...little other thing that has recently bothered me...please please...DON'T, in the first conversation with a cute person, decide your future! I was talking to a guy the other night...last night...who decided to already decide in his mind...our FIRST time hanging out...that we could never be married. WHAT?!....WOW...jumping the gun, much?! Can we please just have fun and enjoy each-other's company and then if something is meant to happen...down the road...it happens?! Stop being so serious people, and have FUN! (Even I know that dating is meant to be fun...even if sometimes it isn't :)
Posted by jameelee at 11:07 PM